I love my daughter. She is 10 months old now, and watching her grow is the best thing I have ever done.
But if I said I didn’t miss my life before baby sometimes, I would be lying.
There is a lot of “Dad Guilt” around this topic. We are supposed to be grateful every second. But the truth is, becoming a parent is a massive shock to the system. It is okay to look back and miss your life before baby a little bit.
Here are the 3 specific things I miss the most about life before the baby.
1. The “15-Minute Warning” (Spontaneity)
Before the baby, if my wife and I wanted to go out for dinner, or just walk the dog, we just… left.
- Then: Grab keys. Walk out door.
- Now: It is a military operation.
Leaving the house now requires a checklist: Nappies? Wipes? Snacks? Spare clothes? Is it nap time? Is the pram in the car?
I miss the freedom of just grabbing my coat and walking out the front door without planning it two hours in advance.
2. Doing Absolutely Nothing
I didn’t realize how much free time I had until it was gone.
I miss sitting on the sofa on a Sunday morning and just staring at the wall. Or playing video games for 3 hours. Or watching a movie without pausing it 10 times because someone is crying or needs a feed.
Now, “relaxing” usually means collapsing into bed at 8:30 PM after the bedtime routine is finally done.
3. Sleeping Past 7:00 AM
This is the big one.
My daughter wakes up at 7:00 AM every single day. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Tuesday or a Saturday. It doesn’t matter if I had a bad night’s sleep.
I miss the luxury of waking up, looking at the clock, realizing it is 9:00 AM, and just rolling over to go back to sleep. That feels like a superpower I lost.
Why It Is Worth It
Reading this list, it sounds like I am complaining. I am not.
I miss sleeping in, and I miss doing nothing. But then I walk in the door after work, and she crawls across the floor to smile at me. Or we take Luna (our dog) for a walk and watch the baby discover a leaf for the first time.
Those moments are better than sleeping in.
It is okay to miss your old life. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your new one. You are just adjusting to the upgrade.
